You can Hadoop it! It's elastic! Boogie woogie woog-ie!

[caption id=“attachment_594” align=“alignleft” width=“261” caption=“This blog’s name in Chinese! “][/caption] I just came back from the future and let me be the first to tell you this: Learn some Chinese. And more than just cào nǐ niáng (肏你娘) which your friend in grad school told you means “Live happy with many blessings”. Trust me, I’ve been hanging with Madam Wu and she told me it doesn’t mean that. So how did I travel to the future to visit with Madam Wu, you ask?